Resolved Question: Am I crazy in the head?
I’m 17. For elementary middle school, I was picked on everyday really badly for being the quiet smart girl that never said anything. I used to have guys a foot taller than me try to punch me. I had mean girls come up to me all the time and tell me straight to my face that I was ugly. I looked really ugly because I never cared about my appearance and I grew up with just my army dad and without a mom in the house to help me look nice. My childhood was shitty and I was miserable the entire time.
I hated my childhood so much and now I want to make up for it. I’m not ugly or nerdy looking anymore and I finally get attention from guys. I want to hook up with a lot of guys (safely). I am turning into a slut. I don’t want a boyfriend because I am afraid of being hurt. The idea of marriage and having kids totally digusts me and turns me off. I don’t want to be tied down. I want to be free.
I am also depressed and am scared of aging. Whenever I leave the house, I put on tons of sunscreen because I am afraid of getting wrinkles and sun damage. At night, I put on a anti-wrinkle night cream on my face. In my mind, if I put on anti-wrinkle things then I will stay young and will be able to avoid aging and death that way. I have problems.
Am I crazy in the head?
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